Toxic Polyamory Culture and Relationship Anarchy

Ladies — Maintain Your Power. Recognize the Red Flags. Obtain and Maintain Emotional and Financial Independence. Avoid dependency and emotional manipulation at all cost.

“One [also] needs to be created around the misuse/abuse of the “ethical slut” concept and toxicity it can create.” ~Courtney via Facebook


This is pretty much the reason for this site — some of what I’ve been trying to say.

Poly is the new black.

Ethical Slut is the new, whatever…

Cool. I get it, BUT NOT when:

  • you’re a spiritual leader;
  • working as an “authority” figure with emotionally/economically/etc vulnerable younger women;
  • you call yourself a protector of land (aka housing coordinator of Crystal House); and the likes.

*Issues arise in situations like this not just with young women, but young men and anyone in a vulnerable circumstances — who are dependent on another.

How does this relate to you Asere Bello?

Anyone who knows you, knows what your beliefs are around polyamory and (as you note in your email response to me about) being an “Ethical Slut.”

Again. All fine UNDER DIFFERENT CIRCUMSTANCES AND WITH CLEAR/MATURE COMMUNICATION AND UNDERSTANDING BETWEEN ALL PARTIES INVOLVED. However, (without going into too much detail here), you and I both know, this is not how things were going down in Crystal House and with those around you.

Be yourself — Do you — but don’t abuse your power and influence. Intentional and unintentional exploitation, grooming, and lack of accountability is toxic and dangerous.

Again — I was fortunate. Because of the support and family and friends, I had a safe place to land physically and emotionally (still with some loss).