Your Collective

H.P., F.L., K.A., K.J., T.P., R.C.

*I can’t help but wonder what you all think about this r kelly mess. That he’s innocent? That what I’ve been trying to tell you all about Asere and his manipulation is different? That these women are adults and free to choose?*

All —  (and please pass on to anyone I’ve missed here):

I’m not sure why you felt inclined to emphasize that you know where my house is. You forgot to add my apartment too — which Angel has the address. I’m not hiding.  Either way, you don’t want to go there with me. It would only take me a few minutes to locate where you all live and work. How do you think Asere got certain information about a direct action some of you participated in?

Ask him why he said, “Because she’s Courtney” when he told the young woman who was hosting drink and draw events at the house that he could no longer be in an intimate relationship with her (when she asked him, “Why her?”)

I came to the table with much more than he’ll ever admit to you and more than some of you will ever understand. The majority of you are young, but give it another 20 yrs…

Ask Asere and his cousin why Angel’s wife calls Crystal House “the whore house.”

I’ve watched, listened and offered advice to at least three of you.

Some of you are the same women I cleaned up after events when you didn’t either 1) keep your word and help out within agreed upon time; 2) left crying because of drama with your partner; or 3) were too tired because others didn’t keep their word by helping out. During the time Asere and I were together, who do you think he talked to when you called about your toxic relationship drama? Who do you think he complained to when your folks didn’t keep their word?

What kind of women support a man who holds on to another woman’s personal belongings? Who is sleeping on my bed now, using my furniture, fan, and other things? Could any of you afford to replace these things on the fly if necessary? No? So why be a part of such activities? (I’ve just forwarded you the email I sent to Asere and Kana about my personal ((social security numbers, birth certificate, banking, etc)) documents. So now that I know you all are also involved, consider that a notice.)

Who do you think he told “his side” of the story too when you had conflict with a CAAAV organizer around misogyny? And I won’t even get into the reasons why he showed up for that meeting and why you all didn’t handle the situation the same with me.

I understand that you all do not have a deeper understanding about what’s going on, but that’s no excuse. Unfortunately my experience with Asere is not an isolated one. There’s more prevalent and systematic issues at hand happening in too many movement circles between Black men and women that’s being dismissed by you, due to your “allegiance” to a man you think you know–A couple of you having only know him for a few months. Additionally, knowing someone, is different than being in an intimate relationship with someone. That’s when you really get to know a person.

You all think you know, what I do, who I know and who I work with personally and professionally, but you’ve no idea. I’ve always maintained a certain level of autonomy and that was for a reason. Trust that we know more of the same people than you think.

All of you — Being an advocate for Women’s Rights is about more than words and attending marches.

I gain nothing by (as you say) “smearing” Asere’s name. He has nothing to offer me. My relationship with him, nor any man validates me.

Your beliefs about why he settled into a monogamous relationship with me always made me feel sad. When you all and other women who know him first met me, I’d always hear, “You’re so pretty. Now we know why he picked you and disappeared,” and ” You’re so lucky.”

Not once did you consider that he was attracted to me because I brought a lot to the table–as an independent woman with her own accomplishments and drive. It’s sad and ironic that you consider yourselves revolutionary yet still carry these thoughts deeply rooted in patriarchy.

Emotional/Manipulation abuse IS ALSO abuse. Just because you don’t see it, refuse to see it, don’t think you’ve experienced it from the person in question, does not mean it did not happen.

How many of you actively participate in personal healing? How many of you showed up when we extended emotional support and had a healing circle?

How many of you incorporate spirituality (different from religion) in the movement work you do? Which of you know the difference between spirituality and religion?

What reason do I have to lie about my claims against Asere? Before meeting him, I was a paid to “date.” I’ve exes knocking at my door.

What kind of man sends women to do his work?

I get it, I fell for his lies about other people he’s dealt with but truth has come out — him having me “go after them.” — specifically an attorney he didn’t tell the whole truth about.

I hope some day, you’re all able to discover healing, your beauty and self-worth within you and stop looking for external validation — embrace YOUR OWN uniqueness.

True Divine Feminine power is one who stands by her virtues in the face of adversity, even if means she must walk alone. She’s not afraid and knows when to walk away. She has learned to trust her own intuition. She walks her path with integrity…